This is the "In" page. I mean, the people in the know - the people who want to know what is coming perhaps on the horizon of design or new sites and services. It's the coordinator's corner - join me there's plenty of room.
Like most wedding consultants and coordinators,I treasure information in all forms. We are suppose to be the answer lady/man about all things wedding related. Every paper that comes into my office via snail mail, email, and downloaded documents is treated as though it was sacred. I either file it away in my email folder under new services, new sites, need to be read, filed in open box lids, notebooks, you name it, I've got a category for every conceivable piece of information that crosses my desk. Problem, not enough of the paper stuff ever sees my eyes long enough to read it or to make it into my brain in some way. I've even taken to making time while I'm going to sleep to listen to informational tapes to make up for the lack of reading time. To combat this paper monster I've enlisted the help of a super duty shredder next to my desk. Really~ no excuses even offered here, and I still can't keep ahead of the clutter. It's a pretty terrible to realize that over the last 22 years in business every end of the year purge, only seems to make a small dent in the multiple mounds of recorded mental memories of someone else. If I can't read it right away, it goes into a pile, stacked in non suspecting corners of my office. At the end of the year, I've reached the end of my rope as well and finally take the plunge into the deep end of printed matter. Unlike my clothes closet which I have a policy one new garment in, one old garment out; I'll admit there are exceptions once and awhile to that rule, but nun the less, it seems to work pretty well. Finally I came up with a plan that I think will work! It's called "Paint your Office". Yes, I am admitting it here that it's been over twenty years since I painted my office. It's well overdue, I know. The thought of having to move all that furniture stuffed with so much paper will be the kick in the pants I need to finally get control over the impending avalanche of the printed word if I don't toss before I have to move furniture to get to the walls. So hopefully I will be better about relying on my computer more to retain information and be able to let go of all the extraneous stuff before it reaches the first filing drawer. So if you can't purge more often, Paint! that will help you get rid of unread, unused, and unseen samples.
Smiles,
Tobey
"What is she talking about" might be your first reaction to this strange title, but if you think awhile the phrase isn't that old fashion or provincial that you haven't heard it before. You know, when your Mother was really mad about something you wanted to do or may have done and were attempting to do again, you heard the phrase, "I'm putting my foot down on this" whatever the this was. You knew instinctual that this wasn't the time to argue or go into verbal high-jinks to outwit or out talk your parent. Don't you wish some times you could put your foot down to some of your clients when they want to do something that just isn't wise for a whole host of reasons?
Some time ago I had a client who was extremely controlling, but somehow likable. I never thought I would have the opportunity to work with such an accomplished person, but through a friend in the business I met her and we hit it off. She had hired me really to be a go between for her and her daughter. Obviously the daughter was reluctant to get too close to me because I was acting as a surrogate mother, so the best I could hope for was a pleasant and respectful relationship with her if not a distant one. I met the mother of the bride on a breezy day in fall in the San Fernando Valley and rode behind her on an off road terrain vehicle to cover the multiple acres this wedding was to take place on the following summer. She was full of creative ideas and plans. I waited until we were on level ground and in a chair to start jotting down all that she had envisioned for her daughter's wedding. The bride wasn't too much in the picture for the planning, but her Mom was very mindful of her taste and wanted her to be happy on the wedding day.
At times I had a hard time keeping up with all the ideas and her rules and regs regarding the use of property, how to treat guests, where they were allowed to venture, and where they had to stay clear of. Now it can be very hot in the Valley during the summer. The mother wanted the guests to mill around and congregate in the vast front 2-3 acre lawn prior to the wedding ceremony and then go to the back of the house for cocktails and dinner reception. Nothing unusual but this wedding ceremony was going to be in the late afternoon and in full sun without any cover for any guests. No shade trees, no canopy, not even small parasols. Her thought was, anyone can stand the sun for 30 minutes. Why go to all that expense like a canopy for less than an hour.
When we came to this juncture and I knew in my gut that we are about to have a difference of opinion that will be a make or break situation for me and possibly lose a potential client, I invoked the "The foot down rule". Politely and with a smile, I told the potential client that I have a clause in my letter of agreement that she should know about and fortunately I haven't had to use often, but it's called the foot down rule. I got lucky, and she laughed. She said, "you have to be kidding". I told her that I would love to work with her. She had so many great ideas, but I'm suppose to look out for her and her guests best interest and I couldn't do that if she refused to have a canopy to keep her early guests arriving comfortable while the wedding party was in the house signing the license etc. I knew that her guests would say they had to use the bathroom, get a drink of ice water, and plain out move to any trace of shade in that vast two acre front yard pasture if need be, in order to avoid the hot rays. It would have been like herding a mass of cats when it came time to gather the guests for the ceremony. What kind of shape would the guests be in after up to an hour in that blistering muggy heat? I doubt that they would be in the mood for a rousing enthusiastic hora then. We did get through that moment pretty fast, and we came to a compromise that if the weather got into the high 80's we would have a canopy. We both were able to save face and even with her dictatorial ways, the wedding went off almost without a hitch. Well in this case, the Rabbi arrived a little late and got up to the house panting trying to make up at least a few minutes if possible. When I asked him for the ketubah he had remarked he would have with him, his eyes rolled back while taking a deep catch up breath and told me he left it in his car. I asked him for the valet ticket so we could retrieve the ketubah, but he didn't have one since he wasn't staying long, he told the valet to keep his car close by. Little did he know that one of the rules the mother of the bride set down was not to let any vehicle be within view of the front pasture for fear that it would be in the photos of the ceremony from any angle. I'll put us all out of our misery now by telling you that this little glitch put an extra 20 minutes onto the ceremony start time. Thank G-d we had the canopy up, water station, and fans for the guests. This turned out to be one hot August night, even Maggie from "A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" would have appreciated.
Excerpt from "Confessions of a Wedding Coordinator" (C) copyright 2010 Tobey Dodge
Out of Town Clients bring out of sight challenges
With greater speed, mobility, and access to information, working with clients from a distance, on the surface, should be just as efficient and productive as working with local clients. Today it's easier to leave messages, scan anything needed from diagrams to budgets. Therefore, much of the legwork can be done over the phone, via blackberry or cable lines just about anywhere you live and work.
When it comes to weddings though, the old adage, "seeing is believing" is alive and well. No matter how many photos, descriptions, samples on line a bride looks at, when it comes to decision making, it's important to make time for those in person meetings with sites and services.
The task of setting up meetings for clients and services to meet is standard practice for a wedding planner. The challenge comes when the client is coming into town on the weekends and the very services you want the client to meet with are out working on those precious weekend evenings and afternoons.
Hence, the dilemma of trying to carve out time for meetings on the weekends while you may be busy with events. It all comes down to lots of advance planning, being selective about the services you arrange for your client to meet in person, having sufficient back up staff to give you the mobility you need to service your out of town clients for long blocks of time while attending to in town ongoing projects, and being judicial about how many out of town clients you can handle at any given time.
It's wise to make sure that the client understands before commencing any work, just how many trips it will take to do the physical side of the planning with potential sites and services. Ideally it's best to allow a minimum of 9 to 12 months ahead of the wedding day for planning to make sure that both client and potential wedding services/sites will have enough time to arrange for visits and meetings at convenient times for all concerned. Figure on a minimum of three trips to the wedding site city; first to meet and select all major wedding services (Clergy, photographer, entertainment, flowers, and potential sites). Second trip is set aside to visit sites for accommodations for family and close friends traveling to the wedding, cake/dessert design decisions, hair and make up artists and videographers. Fortunately, clients can decide to handle invitations and stationery in the city where they live. The third visit would include the tasting to finalize the menu, a sample centerpiece and décor meeting with sample linen, chairs, and lighting companies. With numerous telephone conferences and dozens and dozens of email exchanges to hammer out the budgetary choices and finer details for scheduling purposes, hopefully the planner and client are on the same page when they do see each other in person for the next round of meetings.
Since time is of the essence, being selective about which wedding services and how many meetings can be scheduled within a couple of days really makes a difference to the quality and productivity of each trip. It's ideal if you can manage to have the services meet at the event location, selecting no more than two services per category, especially if these suggested services haven't had the opportunity to work at the selected event site. Carving out 45 minutes per interview meeting with 15 minutes on the front end and back end of each meeting to take care of bad traffic or unexpected extra time needed will keep you on track time wise. Obviously it's best to not have two of the same service come to the event site too close together to avoid any embarrassing or awkward moments. When traveling to and from services it's great if you can bring lunch or snacks to consume at the various offices you visit. Client and services alike are grateful for the "have lunch will travel" done for them. A cooler in the trunk stocked with sandwiches, snacks, cold drinks, and paper goods gives everyone a few moments to relax and get better acquainted and not feel like they are on a merry go round of unending appointments.
In order to be as efficient and productive while your clients are in town with you, it's best to have an office assistant monitor your calls in the office and alert you only if swift action has to be taken or decided on any other matter. You can't always predict what will come down the pike on any given day or week, but it's great if you can anticipate and give yourself some time to catch up by checking in a few times a day with your assistant if you have one, or taking the early evening to leave messages and answer emails you couldn't do during the day because you were in meetings or on the go in the car all day. If you are solo in the office, then arrange a few of those 15 minutes pauses in the schedule to excuse yourself to check in with your phone messages and if you have a blackberry type device to check your emails etc.
Finally, how many out of town clients is it wise to take on in any given calendar year? If you are doing a compliment of full service level packages which includes at least 10 meetings with service providers outside your office per wedding, it's best to keep your full service out of town clients to 6 per year. Most likely you will be using a minimum of 2 extra weekends per out of town client, that will add 12 to 15 additional weekends a year taken up with meetings instead of an event. Fortunately that still leaves a good 30 weekends for other events or activities.
Hopefully, with enough advance planning, adequate open weekends to handle the extra necessary meetings, sufficient office back up or breathing time between meetings for communicating with office staff, and a limited amount of out of town clients that is compatible with the amount of hours allotted to other clients and activities, working with out of town clients will be fun and productive while keeping stress and challenges to a minimum for everyone considered.